'A frank, hopeful and darkly funny memoir of postpartum psychosis and recovery
'How strange to be the observed and not the observer.
'Ariane Beeston is a child protection worker and newly registered psychologist when she gives birth to her first child – and very quickly begins to experience scary breaks with reality. Out of fear and shame, she keeps her delusions and hallucinations secret, but as the months pass Ariane gets worse. Much worse. Finally admitted to a mother and baby psychiatric unit, the psychologist is forced to learn how to be the patient.
'With medication, the support of her husband, psychotherapy and, ultimately, time, Ariane rebuilds herself. And she also begins a new chapter working in perinatal mental health, developing resources to support other new mothers.
'Because I’m Not Myself, You See is a candid, often humorous memoir of motherhood and madness, interwoven with research and expert commentary. It’s the story of the impossible pressures placed on new mothers and how quickly things can go wrong during ‘the happiest time of your life’. It’s also about life on the other side of serious illness, trying to make sense of what doesn't make sense, and finding humour, beauty and joy when things don't go according to plan.' (Publication summary)
'When Ariane Beeston gave birth to her son she was working in child protection as a newly registered psychologist. Years before, she’d won a ballet and dance scholarship to a Sydney private school, which led to performing with the English National Ballet, winning ballet competitions and blitzing exams. When puberty arrived, this changed. Too short, too muscular – so the arbiters said – Beeston was made to feel “too much and not enough”. Pregnancy renewed this scrutiny of her body, reigniting “tracking, monitoring, obsessing” over her size, and parenting brought other kinds of scrutiny, most with limited capacity to detect maternal mental health conditions.' (Introduction)
'Ariane Beeston smashes the romantic myth of motherhood in her memoir Because I’m Not Myself, You See. In 20 short, gripping, sad and moving chapters, Beeston explains her frightening experience of postpartum psychosis and depressive illness as a new young mother.'' (Introduction)
'Ariane Beeston smashes the romantic myth of motherhood in her memoir Because I’m Not Myself, You See. In 20 short, gripping, sad and moving chapters, Beeston explains her frightening experience of postpartum psychosis and depressive illness as a new young mother.'' (Introduction)
'When Ariane Beeston gave birth to her son she was working in child protection as a newly registered psychologist. Years before, she’d won a ballet and dance scholarship to a Sydney private school, which led to performing with the English National Ballet, winning ballet competitions and blitzing exams. When puberty arrived, this changed. Too short, too muscular – so the arbiters said – Beeston was made to feel “too much and not enough”. Pregnancy renewed this scrutiny of her body, reigniting “tracking, monitoring, obsessing” over her size, and parenting brought other kinds of scrutiny, most with limited capacity to detect maternal mental health conditions.' (Introduction)