'Australia has been colonized not by England, but by Poland. It was originally a prison colony for the most incorrigible Polish villains such as the notorious Pepek Janosik, a serial highway robber who was, ironically, eventually transported for trying to pass dud banknotes. Crucifixion, short term and terminal, is the preferred form of corporal and capital punishment. Australia's towns and cities mostly have Polish, sometimes Aboriginal names. The First Fleet in 1788 was commanded by Captain Karol Wojtyla from the Baltic port city of Gdansk. A few Anglo-Celts are around, working mostly in menial jobs. The most serious contribution they have made to the Australian fabric was their introduction of cricket which, as in India, became a national passion. To the national diet, they added fish and chips and a little later, kippers. There were several unsuccessful attempts to introduce meat pies. The Polish king is in Warsaw and functions as Australia's head of state. A Governor-General, appointed in Warsaw, is the local representative of the Polish Crown. There are occasional royal visits. This is the alternative historical context in which Pawel Kotarbinski, journalist, republican and putative author of this memoir, plays out his life.' (Publisher's blurb)
