'Hey, you! Yes, you with the nose. Do you like adventure stories? Yes? Oh. Maybe try another book.
'This one is about me - Vognox the Viking - and I REALLY don't like adventures. There isn't a single exciting thing in here.
'Well, okay, there is that bit when I almost get sucked into a giant whirlpool.
'And the part where I'm chased by a dragon.
