Author's note: Doubtless there is not one word of historical truth in this legend, save that Lachlan More of the MacCleans of Duart was killed in a battle at which the Irish allies of his foes, the MacDonalds, turned up late, but not too late to turn the tide. However, the mythmakers have turned this event into something far more significant than the mere poke and barge, snatch and lose and grab again, rational report of the uninspired, Clio-ignoring, Clio-ignored rearticulator of the bare bones of historical happening. In the name of the true Clio, then, that stranger to all yard measures and inch rules, we present this, our well-fangled tale. Despite modern usage, which would have Maclean and Macdonald, the original had MacClean and MacDonald, and I have adhered to this. This traditional account might be an all-time parody of war as officially recorded, but is factual enough from the point of view of any raiding party.