Cirrus@Austlit

'If you ever find make it through the snarling front gate of 13 Acacia St without being eaten, past Queen Scratchrot's grave in the backyard without having your ankle grabbed, and down into the cellars of the Floods family without being turned into a Belgian geography teacher, here is what you might see.' (Publisher's blurb)

'The first in a laugh-out-loud series from the ingenious mind of much-loved children's author Colin Thompson.

'Nerlin and Mordonna Flood have seven children, most of whom were not created in the traditional way like you or me, but were made in the cellar, using incredible mystical powers, some very shiny Jamie Oliver saucepans and a small chemistry set.

'The youngest child, Betty, is a normal, pretty little girl - but she's a useless witch. Her attempts at magic often go wrong, with unexpected yet welcome results.

'The next-door neighbours should've known better than to rob a family of witches and wizards. But they did, and they're about to find out what the Floods do to bad neighbours…' (Publisher's blurb)

'The second book in Colin Thompson's brilliantly funny series about a family of witches and wizards who might be living in your town.

'Look through the cobwebbed, murky arched window in deepest Patagonia, and this is what you might see...

'Every day five of the Flood children travel halfway round the world to Quicklime College, the ultimate school for witches and wizards. There's no time for silly games flying around on broomsticks. Sports day is coming up, and before you even wonder how four-legged Satanella copes with the three-legged race, here's a secret for you. Orkward Warlock, the vilest child in the school, and his sidekick, The Toad, hate the big happy Floods family. And they're plotting to kill the Floods - on sports day. (Publisher's blurb)

'The Floods family are on the run!

'Travel back in time to faraway Transylvania Waters and find out what happened when a lowly drain cleaner called Nerlin Flood fell in love with the royal princess Mordonna. Can the two escape from an explosively angry King Quatorze, the nastiest spies in the land, and the prospect of life down the toilet? Why does their eldest child, Valla, drink blood? Was Satanella really turned into a dog because of an accident with a prawn and a faulty wand?

'This is your chance to find out how all the Floods children came to be born - or created.' (From the publisher's website.)

'The fourth book in Colin Thompson's brilliantly funny series about a family of witches and wizards who might be living in your town.

'The youngest child in the Flood family, Betty, is a pretty little girl, who looks quite normal - unlike some of her brothers and sisters. She goes to the normal primary school down the road and she even has a normal best friend, Ffiona Hulbert. But Betty is not normal - she is a witch. When Bridie McTort, the school bully, starts throwing her weight around, Betty knows exactly what to do. And when Ffiona's dad gets bullied at work, Betty knows how to fix that too.

Meanwhile, Winchflat Flood has been watching old Frankenstein movies and has decided he wants to build a human of his own ... (Publisher's blurb)

'The Floods children are suspects in a murder case!

'There's been a murder at Quicklime College and the world's most famous Forensic Special Investigator, Grusom, has been sent to investigate. With the help of his super-smart new assistant, Avid, and a can of magic beans, Grusom unearths the clues that will help him find the murderer. In no time, he has five suspects. Their names are Winchflat, Morbid, Silent, Merlinmary and Satanella Flood ...

'Will the Floods be able to stay hidden from the law - and from the evil enemy who is secretly following their every move - until they can prove their innocence?' (Publisher's blurb)

'It isn't just humans who need time off. Wizards do too - and after all the wild adventures the Floods have been through, two weeks at the seaside is exactly what they need. Of course, where the Floods go, trouble is sure to follow.

'Will Betty use magic to cheat in the sandcastle competition? Why is Winchflat stuck in the sand with the tide coming in? Will Mordonna take revenge when she sees animals being mistreated in the circus?

'One thing's for sure. The sleepy town of Port Folio will never be the same . . .' (Publisher's blurb)

'With their worst enemy on their trail, the Floods family are on the run and in disguise in the seventh book of this hilarious bestselling series.

'While the Floods were on holiday with their human friends the Hulberts, the Hearse Whisperer totally destroyed their home back in Acacia Avenue. So now they're on the run again . . .

'To avoid detection they are, like, totally heavily disguised, man. Yeah, man, it's far out, the Floods have become hippies! Will they end up living a life of love and peace and singing folk songs about rainbows and sunsets? Will they wear flowers in their hair and wear soya-bean sandals? ' (Publisher's blurb)

'In Transylvania Waters Mordonna and Nerlin should be King and Queen. But there are some seriously nasty characters standing in their way . . .

'After years on the run, the Floods are coming home. And just in time too. Since Nerlin and Mordonna fled Transylvania Waters, things there have gone from worse to much worse. King Quatorze has bled the country dry. He's even sold everyone's shoelaces.

'It's time for a change, time for life with a lot less cabbage and a lot more chocolate. But first the Floods have to get rid of the old king . . . ' (Publisher's blurb)

'The Floods take on Wall Street and solve the global financial crisis in the ninth book of their hilarious, bestselling adventures.

'The world is in a recession and millions of people have lost millions of dollars.

'And just when things are about to get even worse, the Floods set up Summer School in New York and take control. Hooray, help is at hand - but as they say, charity begins at home. So millions of people will probably lose millions more dollars, but it will all work out fine in the end. Well, for the Floods anyway. Hey, come on. They're witches and wizards, not some sort of charity. ' (Publisher's blurb)

'The caves under Transylvania Waters are about to be explored for the first time ever. What will the Floods find?

'The Floods are back in their rightful place as rulers of Transylvania Waters and there is an enormous amount to do to bring the country out of the Dark Ages. But what does a country need to become part of the modern world? Well, it needs socks, PlayStations and seventy-three varieties of genetically modified sausage, but above all else it needs maps.

'Winchflat's new wife, Maldegard, has been appointed Transylvania Waters's first ever Official Map-Maker. What she and Edna Hulbert discover during their travels will astound, terrify, amuse and intrigue you.' (Publisher's blurb)

'Betty and Ffiona cooking dinner? Run for your lives!

'Betty and her friend Ffiona love cooking. The trouble is, they are both so useless at it that their families make themselves ill just to avoid their meals. It isn't that their families are too kind to tell the girls how bad their cooking is - they actually tell them all the time. But Betty and Ffiona don't believe them, and now the girls are planning to open Transylvania Waters's first gourmet restaurant.

'Queen Mordonna forbids them . . . unless they can prove their cooking skills by winning TV's most popular cooking contest. Will they poison all the judges, or will The Cheffie Olympics be Betty and Ffiona's finest hour? ' (Publisher's blurb)

'What happens when the King goes Doolally? Find out in the latest Floods adventure.

'Everyone gets old, even witches and wizards. Their backs get stiff. Their feet get sore, and their brains go and live far, far away.

'Not even Nerlin Flood, the King of Transylvania Waters, is immune to the curse of old age. The rest of the family have noticed that Nerlin is slipping into total Doolallyness – he even has an invisible friend called Geoffrey-Geoffrey, who warns him not to eat broccoli because it will give him global warming.

'Will the Old Crones be able to cure him, or is Nerlin doomed to spend his twilight years talking to the wall, wearing a crooked jacket* and incompetence pants?

'*Which is actually a more accurate description of a straitjacket.' (Publisher's blurb)

'In the final book of the Floods series, the job of running the Kingdom of Transylvania Waters is up for grabs. Who will replace King Nerlin?

'Nothing lasts forever, not even for Nerlin, King of the wizards. He is bored and tired and wants one of his children to take over as ruler of Transylvania Waters so he can retire to his holiday cottage in the Enchanted Valley and grow chickens. The trouble is, none of the children want the job.

'But then, out of nowhere, a long lost face from Nerlin's past arrives and everything is thrown into disarray.

'Who is Gertrude and who will end up ruler of Transylvania Waters? The answers to this - and more - are inside this book . . .' (Publication summary)