'Back in the day-my day, my schoolgirl days, the 1980s-there was no such thing as Schoolies. No debauched gatherings of stupefied adolescents delirious on drugs and newly bestowed freedom, making hay for a week or two, preferably on a northern beach. In my day, there was only one day to let your stress-frazzled hair down. Muck-Up Day.' (Publication abstract)