'When I was in early high school, I pretended to be a 30-yearold Californian woman on a Charmed fan forum. I did this with my best friend D, who was also my secret boyfriend. His username was Lorelai, after the Gilmore mother, and my name was Tamara. D and I had been friends since primary school, where we bonded over a love of Bionicles, these LEGO action figures that looked like tribal insects with weapons. I bought tassels from Spotlight and tied them to the backs of their heads so they could have long flowing ponytails, and we would smash these creatures into each other on the floor of my bedroom. After Bionicles we became briefly obsessed with Eurovision. We memorised the names of all the obscure European countries, and would drop Bosnia-Herzegovina into conversation with other kids on the playground to be annoying. We were insufferable and inseparable and, looking back on it, very flamboyant.' (Introduction)