'A LETTER TO MY REAL MUM, MADONNA
'To my real mother,
Even though we've never met, your influence has permeated and directed my every move since I became aware that you were, in fact, my mum. When I saw you standing naked except for a pair of sky high stilettos and a cigarette dangling between your crimson lips on your Girlie show tour poster — the day I realised who you truly were — I knew that from afar you would ensure my path in life by setting a sterling example in your own. ' (Introduction)