'Whenever I think about marriage, I think about these sex dreams I used to have as a teenager. They were based on a porno called Here Cums the Bride where this bride sleeps with the best man on her wedding day and gets left at the altar, only to then fuck the best man again while the priest jacks off in a corner. I went to a Catholic school; it’s all very Freudian. Anyway, I would have dreams where I would be fucking the bride, making her cum, and then suddenly everything would shift and I would become the bride tearing my big white gown for easy access and using my veil for leverage so the best man could fuck me standing up, and then I would wake up confused, sticky.' (Introduction)